RIP Monty

Scumbag England

Maggie and Me

The inspiration for writing the blog is the new film Iron Lady about, well The Iron Lady Margaret Thatcher. There's not a lot to say about the film really. It's a mess. It spends too long lingering on her dementia and completely ignores all the politics that she was involved in. Its a a film for Americans who want to know about her but don't want to get bogged down in all the boring trivia of British politics.Mark Kermode was right when he said that by all means show her human side but you can't ignore the politics completely.

Anyway all this lead to me examining what exactly I thought about Maggie. I had said previously on this blog that I would raise a glass when she died. I would like to make clear that this film did nothing to change that. it was a few months ago when I repeated this line to a friend confident he would slap my back (metaphorically, me and my friends aren't they type) and say me to. But he suggested this was a pretty uncharitable thought about a dementia ridden old lady and it was a Damascus moment which made me feel, bless my soul you're absolutely right.

So how do I feel about her. Well I'm not sure. She is certainly worthy of a degree of respect. She came from humble(ish) beginnings. Rose through her party riven with snobbery and chauvanism. Became our longest serving prime minister and did it all while remaining true to her principles. She didn't submit when faced with the IRA or international pressure to fold and compromise on the Falklands.

I don't entirely agree with those who would declare her  the antichrist. Take Thatcher out of the picture and I still think that we would have had the same kind of social revolution with yuppies and the catastrophic end of manafacturing. It was just the graceless way that she carried these policies through.

She was clearly a politician who did what she believed was right. And when faced with the knee jerk politicians we have today who seem to be led by the press rather than actually leading, its difficult not to have a degree of nostalgia . But then again was she all but a dictator ?

She's one of the mostimportant figures of my lifetime and I'm still struggling to get a handle on what i think about her. What fun !

The Lion King

A few weeks ago I went to see The Lion King. Not sure how this one slipped by me for so long.

Anyway there's little you can say about it really. It is brilliant. And incredibly moving. I know Disney get a lot of shit from people for  presenting a candy coloured vision of the world. But you just get them on father children relationships and it quickly gets dark.

Look at Nemo, Peter Pan or Mary Poppins. In the Lion King Simba gets crushed under the weight of expectation there is for him following the footsteps of his father.

The resolution is satisfying but the scene that moves is the encounter with his father's ghost in the wilderness. I was pretty moved (man talk translation, I cried a little bit).

Hitch and Me

I was much saddened earlier in the week at the death of Christopher Hitchens. I've had a pretty troubled relationship with him over the last few years. For many years I described my faith position, for want of a better term, as being agnostic. In other words I didn't believe in God but wasn't totally convinced of his non existence either.

Then a few years ago I heard Christopher Hitchens on Fivelive being his usual rather beligerent self. The representative of the other side was at pains to be reasonable and not take offence at Christopher's non belief. Whereas Hitch had no problem in not accommodating the other person's beliefs at all. At the time I was cross at Hitchens' apalling rudeness and the agression of these atheists.

Fast forward a few years and the arrival of The God Delusion and I got even more irate with these 'New Atheists' bullying people who were doing them no harm in believing what they did. I had of course not read the book just decided I did not like it.

I think I now know what was going on. Although I called myself an agnostic I think I always knew that deep down I was an atheist. I was scared of reading a book that may strip away the last vestiges of my flimsy beliefs. I never set out to read The God Delusion. it just so happened that one day at the library the best audio book available happened to be it so I took it.

In truth as good a book as it was it didn't really tell me a fat lot I did not already really know in my heart. The lesson it did teach me undoubtedly was that there was no shame in being an atheist and that atheists are not to be feared. We are just people who happen not to believe in God.

For me personally the door is not totally closed on the thought there may be 'something other than' the physical world we see around us.This is based on nothing more than the fact that not existing makes more sense than actually existing. Something must have put the singularity there to start us off on our journey.

The other real joy that came from reading the book was the fun to be had watching videos of Hitch on Youtube being his beligerent, no quarter given and most importantly articulate best. I am truly sad at his passing. A great light has gone out.

Twilight Breaking Dawn

So I went to see Twilight Breaking Dawn last night. I'd seen all the other movies and thought they were ok. Nothing to get too excited about but mildly diverting. This is the first half of the last instalment. Its been panned by the critics, but as Mark Kermode said very succintly it wasn't made for them.

I also fall into the category of people the film was not made for. I am guessing as a 40 year old male I'm not exactly the target demographic. But I really loved the film. I'd actually say it was my favourite and to place a cherry on top I'd say I would go and see it again.

What I always forget about these films this how utterly charming the three leads are. Edward has the perect cheekbones for a vampire and a doomed charisma, Jacob is physically perfect for the role (if a 40 year old man can say that without wincing) and is cocky enough without being dislikably arrogant and Bella, well she may be the most perfectly cast actress ever. Together with a storyline that rattled along at a decent pace I was well satisfied. I particularly enjoyed the last shot of the film and I'm eager to see what comes next.

Now I'm off to install a countdown thingy on my facebook page counting down the hours until part two comes out.

We've lost the Empire you know

It's not been a good two weeks for the English. We've twice been reminded that we are not the big boys we once were.

First we had the embarrassment over the poppy scandal where we were outraged that the rest of the world don't see us as a completely peaceful nation. Heaven knows where such a notion could of come from.

Secondly we had bumbling Sepp Blatter spouting half baked nonsense about racism being a thing of the past. Now I'm the last person to deny that Sepp Blatter is an out of touch baffoon who runs a corrupt organisation. He is however a politician par excellence and last week he proved we were no match for him.

Unlike us he realises that the game is not run by the First World anymore and he has spent many years cultivating the support of wider footballing community. So we can stamp our feet and get as bitter as we like he's going nowhere.

The problem is there is still a significant portion of people in this country. Particularly those people in the press and the higher echelons of English sport have never really got over the fact that they don't run football any more.  Nowhere was this more hilariously proved than where we went into the world cup bidding process expecting that the other nations would be impressed we brought the heir to the throne to sway the vote. We were made to look like the naive fools we were. So when FIFA say no to them, or Sepp Blatter doesn't bow to our every whim we react with the impotent fury of an ineffective parent being told by their daughter she'll wear her skirt as short as she wants.

This is not to say by the way that there is not some things to be proud of. Even if it is driven by spite we can be proud of the fact we are the one body whose FA is resolutely saying that FIFA needs to stop all the bribery. I also rejoice at the fact that it is our press who have shown time and again how bent ther officials are. I just wish we'd do it all with a bit more dignity and a litle less screeching.

Killer of Sheep

I haven't been affected by a film like this for some time. It's a gritty looking film made in 1977 in Watts, LA. It gives a really compelling account of every day life for a depressed black man living in some poverty. These days he would be labelled as depressed but the film goes much deeper than that.

It looks at his environment. living hand to mouth trying to make ends meet. Being drawn into criminality by friends but resisting. Being desired by his wife but to sad to respond and all the time he has his job. As a killer of sheep. The symbolism of his work in the slaughterhouse killing the defenceless animals cut with the kids from the ghetto leading directionless lies is a little heavy. But I like that. I don't want to work to understand my films.

The best compliment I can give it is it is it carries the feeling of a Mike Leigh film. We come in, we watch the characters for a while and then we leave. But you can feel the life of the characters going on after the final credits. One sad note is that despite it being a great film the two leads have really done little of note since. Which is a real shame because they are both marvellous actors. Anyway it's a film that deserves to be seen.

I'm not Racist but...

This may well be the first time in history that somebody has said this without following it up with something horribly racist.  A more apt (but less eye catching) title would be 'I'm not xenophobic but...' I really do not like the EU.

The reason I am saying this today is because there is a vote in the House of Commons proposing that there should be a referendum on Britain's membership of the EU. MPs are being bullied by their whips into voting on party lines rather than with their conscience. A mistake I feel.

My opposition to the EU has nothing to do with a distaste for Johnny Foreigner. I like my European brethren just fine. I do feel uncomfortable at times being against the EU because there is a tendency to present anybody who is again the EU as little Englanders. A view not helped by dickheads like Nigel Farrange who never misses a chance to be insulting to people on the continent. Atheist groups have had gatherings for the past few years called Love Christmas, Hate Religion. I'd like there to be a campaign called 'Love Europe, hate the EU'.

My dislike of the EU is simple. Its unnecessary. The Europe Britain entered in the 70s was called the Common Market. That's what it was meant to be a common agreement between countries to trade freely. Then over the course of the next few decades there has been a slow creep towards turning it into a super-beaurocracy.

That is my objection. Britain already has an unwieldy beaurocracy of it's own. It's called the Civil Service. Why do we need a second even bigger one ? Beaurocracies are inefficient. I know I work for one in the council. And the bigger they are the more inefficient they are. We can never get back what we put into the EU which is the biggest beaurocracy in the world. And who does it benefit? Well there's the rub.

The people who benefit most from the EU are the political class of Europe. The EU is the gravy train that keeps on giving. Asking them to rid themselves of the EU is the perennial turkeys voting for christmas. So the status quo will continue. The EU will get larger, the political class will get fatter off the slush funds it provides and the people are voiceless.

Not Guilty

After watching Russel Grant's divine dance on Strictly Come Dancing she declared that he was her 'guilty pleasure'. Presumably because she thinks he is a bit crap but fun to watch anyway. I think somebody may have said it about one of the novelty acts (which ones aren't?) on X-Factor but I kept dropping off in it so I couldn't say for certain.


I absolutely loathe this whole notion of guilty pleasures. What is there to be guilty about, seriously ? We all know Westlife and Steps and (insert any other manufactured pop band since the 80s) are basically crap. But considering the ammount of music they put out it would be a little odd surely not to find one record with a decent tune to it. Even a stopped clock is right twice a day after all.

I can't help but feel that this whole guilty pleasure thing is the last resort of the feeble minded. Like people who support Man United then apologise about it and make some tenuous link with Manchester to justify it. I much preferred the attitude of an old friend of mine who said 'screw you, I'll support who I like.'

So for the record I love Flying without wings by Westlife, Don't stop moving by S Club 7 and I loved Kylie even before the Guardian gave us the nod that it was OK again. I don't like any Steps songs, but I hear they are reforming so...fingers crossed.

His Girl Friday

What a delight this film is. I watched it last night with a good friend. I've seen it a few times before and it has to be said its one that improves with repeated viewings. The reason being that the dialogue is so quick and sharp you can easily miss things when you have to follow the story.  My friend hadn't seen it before and he kept losing the plot. For me it was pure joy. Its a film that keeps on giving. there are so many jokes and wonderful characterisations in it you get something new every time.

The cast is universally brilliant from Grant and Russell in the leads to Bellamy playing the hapless Fiance to the character actors who make up the rest of this peerless ensemble. Its a joy from start to finish. njoy if you get the chance.

The Wizard of Oz

I'm not sure what else can be said about the Wizard of Oz. Other than I can't help but feel one of the main disadvantages of being dead, for me, will be I never get to see this film again.

Cousins

Once upon a time I used this blog to talk abbout films I'd seen rather than ranting incoherently. So I thought I'd remedy that.

I watched Cousins the other day. I've seen it before and remembered enjoying it. Of course it doesn't follow that I would enjoy it again. Many times I've rewatched films I loved years ago to find them to be pale imitations of what my memory told me.

Thankfully this film lived up to its expectations. This is due mainly to the utter charm of the leads. Isabella Rossellina is a truly beautiful creation and is ideally suited to this role. Add to that ted Danson not trying to act, but just be charming and its a heady mix. Their chemistry is wonderful and you are absolutely rooting for a happy ending for the two of them.

They are fantastically supported by Sean Young, who is pitch perfect as Danson's younger wife and William Petersen playing a character really without redeeming features very well.

Anyway if you haven't seen it. i wouldn't necessarily tell you to make a beeline for it but its worth watching out for on TV. Two hours very well spent.

Travelling, Rambling

I used to be homophobic. I think this was largely due to a naivety in myself. I didn’t knowingly know any gay people so they were an unknown to me. I knew a few people who were camp and I suspected of gayness. But nobody who just said it proudly. I remember with a degree of fondness how on the second week of my social work course having to suppress a childish giggle when our lecturer told us matter of factly that he was bisexual.

I’ve come a long way since then and posted a few weeks ago about how infuriating I find people’s attitudes to sexuality. So I consider myself a pretty open minded person whose attitude could be summed up in the motto ‘live and let live’.

Then we come to travellers.

And I cannot deny in this case I am prejudiced. It’s an uncomfortable feeling for me because I genuinely don’t want to be that kind of person. I’ve spent much of the last couple of days ruminating on this to try and get to the bottom of it.

I’ve come to the point where I realise I don’t hate the travellers. I don’t really hate anyone. Even when people do horrific things I can understand that there are forces beyond their control that lead them there so its not hate. Its not that I want them to live a conventional life like us squares. I’m irritated that there seems to be a fundamental hypocrisy in the arguments put forward by those who advocate on their behalf.

There have been a lot of vocal accusations from some people suggesting that the site clearance at Dale farm is ‘ethnic cleansing’. Now let’s take a moment to look at this because if you use words like that then you have to defend them. Ethnic cleansing refers to the systematic murder of one group of people by another in power. No trial, no judicial process. We want the land you live on so we will murder you to get it.

Now let’s look at what has happened in Basildon. Planning permission was given for some homes and then another group of families decided they would live there as well. The authorities told them they couldn’t and following that we have had several years of legal argument to remove them. They have been to the highest court in the land and it has found against them. To compare this with ethnic cleansing is obscene.

The fact is that in law they are on that land illegally and have to leave it. This is the thing that causes me most annoyance; the feeling that somehow they do not have to abide by the law of the land. They have had their day in court and lost. They think they are being prejudiced against…well quite honestly tough luck. If I build something illegally then it will be torn down. Why does that law apply to me and not to the travellers ?

The hypocrisy for me comes in terms of the argument that on one hand travellers’ advocates will tell us that they want to make a valid contribution to society. In that case settle in permanent accommodation then, get jobs, pay tax. That’s how the rest of us contribute. But the argument comes back. Settling down would mean death to us, we can’t be restricted like that.

Well make your minds up. You either wish to be part of our society or you don’t. British society is not a nomadic one where we all move around. There are traveller sites around the country. I realise they are not always where the travellers want them. Well I’d like to live closer to my daughter’s school but I can’t, so that’s life unfortunately. Why do we have to bend all the time to accommodate this lifestyle choice? Especially at a time when we are being asked to bend so far anyway. Job losses, pay freezes, higher fuel bills and all set to get worse as the cuts begin to bite.

My final point comes from a respected peer of mine who said that 18 million or whatever the final cost to evict the squatters is a high price to pay. Well, having had time to consider it, this is a daft argument. The reason the cost is so high is because the squatters are refusing to obey the law of the land they live in. If they obeyed the law the cost would be lower. Are we saying we shouldn’t evict them because it will cost too much? That’s not a great precedent to set. The rule of law has to be enforced whatever the cost. I say that for the travellers just as I say it for the police pursuing News international executives.

So to sum up I don’t hate travellers. I dislike their hypocrisy, I loathe the professional protesters rushing to stick their beaks in and push the costs of this sorry operation up and I’m disappointed in myself that, for all my rationalisation, it is at heart a prejudice that is driving my uncharitable thoughts.

Our JFK Moment

I posted something similar to this on my defunct blog probably on the fifth anniversary of the September 11th attacks. There's little more to say about it really. This is the definitive 'you know where you were' moment of my generation in the way JFK's assasination was for my parent's generation. Mine is too tedious to relay but I remember every detail of it.

We're Number One !

It's a great time to be an English cricket fan. And speaking as hardy types who endured a time when it was considered a good idea to make Chris Cowdrey England captain (did that actually happen or have we invented it as an apocryphal story ?, no just checked Wikipedia it did happen.) I think we deserve to enjoy it.

I don't think its fanciful to compare them with the Aussie team of the 90s and early 2000s. In terms of batting if a couple of players fail somebody always comes good. And the bowlers are a proper unit who hunt in packs. But most of all they have that 'fuck you' bullying attitude that the Aussies had. So even if the opposition show some resistance they're patient then bang ! One out three out.

Cynicism Overload (why my wife hates watching the X-Factor with me)

After last week's righteous cynicism on the preening popinjays who run our country its now time to be cynical about something more frivolous. Yes X-Factor has returned and with it has my capacity to find different ways to get furious about the blatant manipulation of the audience. It's really not fair that my wife bears the full brunt of my cynicism as she tries to watch the programme. So I've decided to share my bile with yourselves. So here are my three favourite reasons to be cynical about this week's show.

3. George, The Reformed Character 

The most blatant pantomime villain ever foisted on reality TV. He came on telling us he was a reformed character and at this point I knew this was going one of two ways. He was either going to be good and we could all go aww, tough guys can change. Or as it happened he would turn out to be a crap singer and then act like a tool. 

In case you missed it, it was the latter. This gave Tulisa the chance to act self righteous   and a bit street and for Dermot to act like Mr. Darcy protecting the ladies' honour. I've no doubt George is a tool and that Dermot's outrage at the way he was talking about the women was genuine. What I also have no doubt about is that the producers knew exactly how he was going to act and maybe somebody mentioned what good TV it is when contestants kick off.

2. Gary is charismatic honest !

For all that Simon Cowell is a nobhead there is no denying he has a certain presence. But his skills in terms of what he brings to the music industry are essentially zero. He is an entertainment phenomena not a music one.

Gary Barlow has achieved more in the music industry than Simon Cowell could ever achieve. He has wrote songs that will genuinely outlive him and entertained millions. I like a lot of Take that songs myself. None of this makes Gary Barlow an interesting person to watch. He is a charisma vacuum and he did not say one thing that bordered on interesting in the entire show. 

He reminds me of the old days of football punditry where they would sometimes get brilliant ex footballers in who couldn't string a sentence together. I don't blame Gary for this he is the engine room of the band, the charisma rests in the songs he writes combined with a nostalgia that thirty and forty somethings have for their youth.

His lack of presence  was clearly apparent to the producers as well. Because we were treated to a couple of minute segway of Gary being 'mean' to contestants. To emphasise the point we 'overheard' a conversation between Kelly and Louis discussing how mean he was.

Please don't patronise us. Gary Barlow is a huge star. he's achieved a great deal in his life and he deserves a try at this but quit trying to tell us we should be entertained by him. He's dull.

1. The Irish Girl 

Don't know her name, sure I am going to learn it over the next few weeks in any case. Firstly Dermot finds her in the crowd. How did that happen i guess Dermot was just walking along saw here and thought to himself 'She looks shy I'll go give her a pep talk.' Remarkable insight of Dermot (who I do like but worry about the price of his soul in this nonsense) there.

Next we get a VT scene showing her playing the guitar in her bedroom. Now even the meanest rube knows that she is going through because why would the production company do that otherwise. 

She says she comes from a small town and nothing much happens there. Then she walks on stage perfecting her best Princess Di to Martin Bashir look. Remarkably Kelly picks up on how shy she is and tells her to relax blah, blah, blah. She tells them she is going to sing Your Song and from that point on I certainly know where this is going. Gary says 'wow' and just stops himself saying 'big song' because he doesn't want to blow all his cliches in one night.

Then she basically does a very competent karaoke version of Ellie Goulding's version of Your Song. And the judges fall over themselves to say how brilliant she is and I wonder, if I didn't know they were being deliberately dim, if anybody else has heard Ellie Goulding's version of this song. Louis chimes in with a five star Cliche and an old favourite of mine 'You don't know how good you are.' 

Then we have to wait while they vote. And even though we know she is going through because of the VT and the fact that the first three judges have said yes we still get a dramatic pause before Gary says yes.


Having said all this and moaned to high heaven I dare say I will keep watching. If my wife will let me. Maybe I'll come here every week and whine about a programme I loath but keep watching.

Finally it would be churlish of me not to mention two good things about the show. I like Kelly Rowland a lot. She is very charismatic also on the Extra Factor we have the marvellous Caroline Flack who makes me laugh a lot.

The Riots

I apologise for the rambling nature of this but it's just a number of the thoughts I've had over the last few turbulent days.

The first day when the riots were in London alone I barely noticed. London's a funny place and shit like that happens there. I paid slightly more notice than when it happens in Ulster because it does seem to be part of the culture of that region.

The second day was when it really hit home. This was the day when the country truly did seem to become a lawless, anarchist state. There was a lot of criticism of the Police. Which seemed unfair because it was obvious to anyone with sense and without an agenda that there was no way the police could cope with all the hotspots at once.

I was as furious as everybody else at what i was seeing. People who didn't give a hoot about the community in which they lived taking what they wanted and setting it alight. Particularly as they were attacking small businesses. Which showed the absurdity of those who were trying to claim it was a political riot up. This anger lasted through the night and most of the next day until I heard a woman on Fivelive her name is Camila_Batmanghelidjh. 

She gave a different point of view on the riots and what was happening. She made no effort to excuse the behaviour of the criminals involved the previous night. She just tried to offer an explanation that there is a generation of young men who simply have no hope. Their families who should be their safety net are often the people who put them in most danger and the services that are there are not interested. So you have people with no hope, no networks. And people without hope have nothing to lose and someone with nothing to lose is a dangerous thing.

This is when the rational side of my brain began to re-awaken. I was still angry about the lawlessness that I was seeing. But I also began to see that this anger was pointless if I didn't at least try to understand what was really happening. It goes without saying that she got a barrage of stick from the audience calling her a bleeding heart. I don't know what it is that stops people from understanding that looking for explanations as to what happens is not the same as offering excuses. Surely what separates us from animals is our ability to wonder. it's a bit of a shame if we don't use this capacity.

By this time the true villain of the piece had arrived back to save us all. Our prime minister. There has never been a more sickening sight than watching this jumped up gobshite puffing out his chest and letting us all know how bad he is and how he's gonna set things straight. He has gone out of his way to portray himself as the hero of the hour. Making outrageous claims about how he personally did this and ordered that. Sir Hugh Orde has made it clear that the politicians jetting in made not a jot of difference to the way Police organised their response.

So whose version should we believe ? Sir Hugh Orde. Former Chief Constable of the Northern Ireland Police force. A man who dealt with riots year in and year out for...well years. Or an empty shirt like Cameron...well quite. But worse was to come. Parliament was recalled so all the other strutting peacocks could puff out their chests and fight to be the most comically self righteous. It was a sickening display.

This whole spectacle was made all the worse by the utter spinelessness of Ed Milliband who just tried to out tough cameron. Sod actually saying 'maybe we should think why this is happening'. No if cameron wants to give them two years I think we should give them five years. I really cannot find the words to summon up my utter contempt for the Labour party. At least you know where you are with the Tories. They're eveil and they don't pretend to be anything else.

Today we have reached a new low. With the pathetic Eric Pickles telling us that yobs will be evicted from social housing. He just says they'll have to find private housing and telling them it's their fault. That might just avoid being brain numbingly stupid if you're evicting a single bloke. But in many cases you are going to evicting families. What happens to those children ? It strikes me if you don't want to raise another generation of angry young people making them homeless for the sins of their parents isn't a good starting place.

Now obviously I don't live on the kind of estate where such people live. So it could be argued I don't know what I am talking about. I admit this is a possibility. But the truth is these people will need to go somewhere. Its all very well saying they will have to get private housing but where is that going to be ? Clue it's not going to be in Eric pickles' neighborhood. Its going to be on exactly the same estates where they lost their tenancy. For all that such measures feel right they defy logic.

I feel at the end of this protracted monologue I should have answers. But I don't have any really. The truth is from my job i know there are some people who are beyond helping. All the input in the world will not help them get their life on track. But good services, designed by people who know the area they are working with, do help. They don't help everybody and they won't, in themselves, prevent a riot. What they do give is opportunities for the people who have aspirations within demonised communities.

Those services need to be supported. The government will say there is no money. Which is bullshit because they seem to be able to find money to prop up a broken fiscal system whenever it is needed. Just not the broken society Dave is so fond of talking of.

If you have the time I thoroughly recommend reading this and this they are brilliant

Citizen Kane

So it comes to me as it does all film fans my time write a review on Citizen Kane. I watched it again last night. With the added thrill of seeing it with someone who has never seen it before so did not know about the glorious pay off of the final scene.

Of course up until that point, at first viewing, it's not impossible to think 'well a good script, good acting and the use of light is good, but the best film ever ? Really ?' Once you have seen it once and you realise what the film is about it really is the gift that keeps on giving. It's a film that deserves many repeated viewings. Last night was about the seventh time I have seen it and I noticed a few things last night that I had not noticed before. Little nuances in conversation that had escaped me the first few times.

Is it the best film ever ? Its difficult to argue that looked on from a historical perspective it changed cinema in a way few other films ever have since. Much as I love the technical innovations (do you know it was about the first film that featured rooms where you could see the ceiling) that came from Kane my true love of the film comes from the three things Hitchcock said you needed to make a great film. A good script, a good script and a good script. The acting is also marvellous from the youthful Orson Welles to the wonderfully aged Joseph Cotton.

Be nice to yourself and see it.

Why I love Baking